Time has felt different lately. Though we had tons of time “off” during quarantine, I have found that the days just seemed to fly by. Some days, I found myself sticking to my schedule (not color-coded, made simply on either Google Docs or on a post- it!) and felt proud of my productivity. Other days, we just went with the flow which explains how I began writing this post back in April, am only getting back to it in December and posting it in June!
Last March when schools initially closed, I struggled with the balance of “formal education” for my son and learning through experiences. I have always believed in the value of “learning through life,” and even though sometimes I have that “mom guilt” voice in my head saying “shouldn’t you be doing more?” I really have found my son has benefited tremendously from this outlook. It also helps that I have an education degree and have been teaching kids in various jobs since I was 14.
At the time, many of my friends asked me to start this blog to share ideas. Honestly, it would have been the perfect time if I had been ready. I still needed to learn how to use WordPress before I could start putting content out there. Also, maybe I just wasn’t ready to be that vulnerable yet.
Finding my way to Mom Zu L’tovah
In 2010 I went on Birthright and my madricha (counselor) taught me the Hebrew expression “Gam Zu Ltovah”, translated as “Everything is for the best.” I became obsessed with this expression, put it right on my Hadaya ring inscription, and was almost embarrassingly known as “Miss Gam Zu Ltovah” in college.
Once I became a mom five years ago, I jokingly started saying “Mom Zu Ltovah” when there was some minor parenting challenge. “At work and Shmuely had a blowout diaper explosion – Mom Zu L’tovah!” I’ve wanted to start this blog for years, and it took until I was quarantined and a few friends who I shared the idea with told me “now is the time!” That was months ago, but “Here I am now, guys!”
My goal in creating this space was initially just to share activities that I do with my son, different tips and tricks I’ve learned along the way, and give some fun and meaningful humor. Over the last four years especially, the idea has morphed into possibly going even deeper; sharing some of the more nuanced struggles of parenting, motherhood, and possibly even the journey to get to that in the first place!
I debated whether I was brave enough to share some of the struggles that I went through publicly. I’ve always believed that when you go through something challenging, if you are able to help even just one person with that experience it adds so much meaning.
I really discovered that when I lost my father, of blessed memory, seven years ago. At the time, I could never imagine that I would be grateful for the pain that I was going through. When I had friends go through similar painful experiences, and I could connect to them on a deep level, it gave me a sense of higher meaning and understanding.
More than just a cute name
In this way, the name Mom Zu L’tovah just started out as a cute name, but I realized the meaning of it, at least for me, was profound. Changing it from Gam Zu to Mom Zu L’tovah could mean that everything that happens in motherhood is “for the best.” It could also mean “this mom is doing her best,” because really that’s all we can do.
So, that’s what I want to do here. Highlight the lessons I’ve learned in life, in parenting, and through my fertility journey. A place where I can share the light and have some fun, but delve deeper into the hard stuff, too.
It’s no secret that when a person goes through something challenging, they will come out stronger and wiser. Thank G-d, that’s how I feel now, and I hope to share some of the amazing, Mom Zu L’tovah life-enhancing lessons. And because laughter is the best medicine, I’ll do my best to give a healthy dose of smiles.