My‌ ‌very‌ ‌own‌ ‌Goldilocks‌ ‌tale:‌ ‌Finding‌ ‌the‌ ‌porridge‌ that‌ ‌heals‌ ‌my‌ ‌migraines‌

Once upon a time there was a girl named Goldisheitel who had a headache… Again and again. Sometimes she would sleep and feel better. Sometimes she would throw up….

I’ve suffered headaches and migraines for as long as I can remember. In high school, I remember taking so much ibuprofen that I gave myself a stomach ulcer. In college, I would capitalize on the times I didn’t have headaches to get my work done and then shut down for a few days to recover. 

It was pretty unbearable then, but as a wife and a mother, it’s a little hard to frontload work and take a few days off ever, let alone multiple times a month. By the time my son was two, as soon as he heard the Aleve bottle shake, it was good-bye Ima because I wasn’t getting up for a while. Not exactly the picture I had of myself as a mother. 

….So, she went on a journey to find the magical porridge-like solution to her problems. 

The first bowl of porridge – the chiropractor 

At my next doctor’s appointment, I shared with her the frequency and intensity of my headaches. She recommended I start with a chiropractor, but cautioned me to go for just a few visits and not to let them manipulate me into going long-term. 

Both my wallet and I wish we had listened. 

I went to the chiropractor for about four months, and found that if I had a headache it released the pressure a little, but only for the next day or so. In the beginning, I was driving 30 minutes both ways three times a week. Just the drive alone was giving me a headache. 

On the flip side, one of the best parts about going to the chiropractor was choosing one near the Botanical Gardens. Because of the location and frequency I was going, I got a membership to the gardens and would spend hours in nature (and the model train garden) with my son. He loved going to the chiropractor with me and they would give him a “chiro-clicker” toy instrument to play with during my three-minute appointment. 

I’ve heard chiropractory (I know that’s not really what it’s called…) has been life-saving for some people. I’m thrilled for them, really, but for me the problem was just deeper.

First bowl: Too hot.

The second bowl of porridge – physical therapy

At my next doctor’s appointment, approximately 100 headaches later, she gave me a referral to physical therapy. I made my appointment in December of 2019 and the earliest appointment was in March of 2020. I was both nervous that my appointment would be canceled because of the pandemic, but also nervous to go anywhere during that time.  Thank G-d, my appointment was on and they assured me that everything was safe. 

It was a strange experience to start physical therapy during the pandemic and each week as I learned new exercises, I also had to follow new COVID-19 protocols (wearing my mask, washing off the equipment after use, bringing my own exercise band.) 

At a time where I wasn’t seeing almost anyone, my physical therapist basically became my best friend, and going to physical therapy was actually a highlight of early pandemic for me. The stretches seemed to be helping strengthen the muscles in my back and neck which is where I felt my headaches originated from. 

Plus, the massages at the end of each physical therapy appointment were just a little slice of heaven. 

I went to physical therapy twice a week for about six weeks and in that time definitely felt my headaches improved. My physical therapist and I would do a little happy dance when I told her I went a week without a headache, which at the time was very unusual. 

I was able to maintain the daily stretches for a few months, but as they eased up my headaches eased back in. I still think it was a valuable experience and try to do the stretches every few days, but I needed a more manageable solution. 

Second bowl: Too cold. 

The third bowl of porridge – acupuncture

Just a month after physical therapy ended, I finally admitted to myself that I couldn’t maintain the daily exercise routine. I was so motivated to find something that would really treat this problem and give me some long-overdue relief. 

I was scrolling on Facebook and noticed a post in the Chicago Jewish Central group endorsing an acupuncture practice called Chicago Family Acupuncture. I knew the woman who posted and felt a sense of trust, and maybe just a soul-instinct that this was the right next move for me. 

That day was a Friday and I was getting a headache. I sent an email asking if acupuncture could help with my migraine headaches. Out of desperation, I also called to see if I could schedule an appointment for that day.  I called and the practice wasn’t open, but I got a text a minute later from Zahava. She patiently answered all of my questions as a total acupuncture newbie and said their earliest appointment was for Sunday. 

I was maybe a little too excited driving out to Glenview for the appointment Sunday morning. At the consultation, I spared no details about the extent of my headaches and migraines, when I notice them (more often when it rains or the weather pressure changes.)

Zahava recommended I start coming twice a week to get started, and then when the headaches occur less frequently to come once a month to manage them. My first treatment was way more relaxing than I thought it would be, and honestly I barely even felt the needles. 

After going twice a week for a little over a month, my migraine headaches had diminished from three times a week to about once. I honestly couldn’t believe it.  Not only that, but I discovered the health benefits to other areas of my life like fertility and my random baker’s cyst on my knee. 

Each visit, Zahava and I would talk about what self-growth work we were currently engrossed in, and always had helpful nutrition, supplement, or other health tips waiting for me. 

Going to acupuncture each month is now part of my self-care routine, and I’ve been practicing meditation while I get the treatments. It also happens to be that Zahava is basically my soul sister and going to my appointments counts as self-care plus friend time for me now. 

She also taught me amazing techniques to do at home to prevent headaches and soothe them if I do get one. My favorite is using this Po Sum On medicated oil with a won ton soup spoon and massaging my neck and shoulders. It’s called Gua Sha and you can watch a tutorial here: The Ultimate Gua Sha Tutorial

Third bowl: Just right.

The hardest mitzvah may not have to be so hard

If you suffer from migraines or headaches, first, I’m so sorry. They are awful, inconvenient and can totally keep a person from living life to the fullest. Especially for those that cover their hair, headaches can get tied up with all the emotions of why Hashem would make it hard to do this mitzvah. 

Before I got married, I was so excited to wrap beautiful tichels and cover my hair in general. That excitement quickly faded when I realized that putting a velvet band, wig, anything tight or heavy on my head exacerbated my headaches. 

The purpose and meaning behind this struggle is still something I’m trying to find the “Mom zu l’tovah” in, but something that helped me was focusing on the gratitude of finding acupuncture and a very comfy hat. I may have it in four colors, but mainly wear the one that’s already perfectly stretched out. 

Secrets of Healing

I once heard a class by Rebbetzin Tamar Taback who shared the “Secrets of Healing” from the biblical figure Miriam. When I was five, I remember asking my teacher over and over again if that week was the parsha (Torah portion) with Miriam getting sick. When it finally was that week, I learned all about how she wasn’t careful with her words and was punished. Since then I have always tried to be as careful as possible with my words.

Just recently I found another connection to the prophetess Miriam. Rebbetzin Taback teaches that there are a number of names Miriam is called by that shine a light into her personal journey. The name Miriam מרים can be broken down into רם & מרי (meri & rahm.) Meri comes from the Hebrew root “bitter” ( מר mar), but Miriam was able to turn the bitter to finding the HIGHer purpose. This is noted by the word רם (rahm) which means high.

One of her other names is Chala’ah, meaning sickly. And I thought having the name “bitter” was already pretty rough. Rebbetzin Taback explains that she didn’t just get sickly with tzar’as (leprosy) when she tripped up with the power of speech. Her whole life she was sick and therefore her beauty couldn’t shine. Definitely can relate to that – who feels beautiful when they have constant migraines?!

Later she was healed and given names including Na’ara, which means a young, beautiful woman and Efrat אפרת. Efrat contains the letters רפא which is the Hebrew root for healing. Miriam experienced going from bitter to sweet and from sick to healing so much so that one of her claims to fame is the healing well of Miriam that would miraculously give water in the desert.

The healing lives on

In this week’s parsha, Chukas, it relates the account of Miriam’s death and how her well dried up. Acupuncture for me is like my own Well of Miriam. I’m still very much on my own healing rollercoaster, but with my headaches occurring less frequently, I’m definitely enjoying it more.

If this is a relatable challenge, my bracha (blessing) is that you, too, will find relief whether it’s acupuncture, chiropractory, physical therapy or a different brand of porridge entirely! Getting my headaches under control has given me new life. 

Now, instead of laying in bed while my son plays, I get to be on the floor building Legos with him. Or going to make a bowl of porridge because now that sounds really good.